Marriage is a ceremony celebrated
by all religions, world over. Marriage is not a mere word but
encircles within itself human emotions of understanding, patience,
caring, affection, sharing and sacrifice. With changing times
the concept of love marriage came in where a girl /boy chooses
their own life partner and then the wedding is arranged by both
the families with a lot of enthusiasm. The first step if you want
to get married in Goa is the act of the proposal or the utorz.
MATCHMAKING
Earlier marriages used to be arranged by a middle person who was
called mali or raibari who used to take the proposal to the groom
or the bride's family and act as an intervener between both the
families or alternately.If the family liked either the boy or
the girl, they would directly approach the respective family with
a proposal.
UTOR
After the decision has been taken by the respective families,
the details of the wedding are discussed which includes the dowry
to be given to the bridegroom. The discussion is called utor or
promise.
ENGAGEMENT
The formal engagement takes place with the exchange of rings,
and is traditionally held at the bride's place in the presence
of family members, priests and other relatives.
Groom's family: kiteak ailea?
Bride's family:Oh garan, amguer full fullam, tumguer pormouphak
amin eilean.
Groom: Io bitor team fullacho valor poiia.
The entourage is then led into the house, where upon, they open
the box containing the rings, and also the box containing the
gold ornaments. The ring for the bridegroom is taken in a special
box along with a statuette of Infant Jesus. At the bottom of the
box, some money is put by the bride's parents, which represents
the amount of dowry. Each note of Rs 100 is equivalent to RS 1000.
This money is for the groom. An elderly member called yezman counts
the money.
WEDDING PREPARATIONS
As the wedding day approaches, arrangements are made to style
the bridal gown. Prior to the coming of the tailor, the fabrics
are purchased. For this purpose, on the appointed day, relatives
of both, the bride and groom go shopping. The saddo and dress
material to wear the next day of the wedding by the bride - torna
boda are bought.
CIVIL REGISTRATION
Civil Registration is the next step for the couple, according
to existing Portuguese Civil Code. The registration is done at
the Civil Registrar's Office, in the presence of parents, close
relatives and two witnesses. Thereafter, the Registrar invites
the public by affixing a notice on the board, to submit objections
if any, to be raised within the stipulated period of three weeks.
BANNS
The wedding bands are read in church in the conformity with the
ecclesiastical law on three consecutive Sundays. Just a week or
weeks before the wedding, in case the ceremony is to be held in
a short period of time and there is no possibility of reading
all three banns, then either one or two may be read. If it is
not possible for the banns to be read even on a single Sunday,
special permission must be obtained from the Patriarch. The banns
inform the public of the impending marriage of the couple, and
is a request for objections if any, in general from public.
CHUDDO
On the day of the first bann, the bride is invited to the house
of her maternal uncle for lunch. She is then made to wear chuddo.
In the absence of maternal uncle, the maternal aunt performs the
chuddo ceremony. This is a special ceremony, where, the cankonkar
(bangle seller) comes to the house and fits bangles to the accompaniment
of zotis ( a special commemorative songs), on the hands of the
bride, who is bedecked with flowers in presence of other ladies.
The bangles to be worn are follo (green background with yellow
line). It is said, that no bangles should be broken, and as such,
the bride was not expected to do any work, lest a bangle break
and cast evil on the betrothed. It symbolizes the married life
of the bride. For his services the cankonkar is paid a measure
of rice, one coconut, five bananas and some money.
ROSS
The first coconut juice called the apros, is used for the ceremony.
A day before the wedding, the bride and the groom, each at their
respective residences are made to sit in the main hall or in the
matov (pandal), and relatives and neighbour's are invited to apply
the ross.
The ross is applied to different parts of the body, starting with
the head and down to the limbs. The ceremony signals the end of
bachelorhood/spinsterhood, and is probably used for purification.
The guests are served atol (a sweet dish made of rice, coconut
and jaggery).
BICAREANCHEM JEVONN
A lunch is held in honour of the departed souls of the house,
who are represented by beggars. The speciality of the day is samarachi
koddi ( a heavily spiced aromatic curry cooked with dry prawns
and mango sol (dry unripe salted mango), cooked in coconut juice.
Vonn, made of coconut juice, gram dal and jaggery. Bread and a
banana are a must for this meal and small sized voddes made of
rice and urid dal. All this is accompanied by zotis. The lunch
is served on a patravalli, a plate made by stitching together
jackfruit leaves. Liquor or beedis are also served. Special paddy
is boiled for this meal, and on the wedding day, while washing
the rice, zotis are sung.
Before the cooking for the meal has begun, a coconut is broken
in front of the house by a senior member of the family. Today,
in case no Bicareanchem jevonn is served, the some beggars are
given one measure of rice and some money.
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